we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
