Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
