Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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