Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
