Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
