And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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