I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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