my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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