Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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