i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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