So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
