I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
