In the future we'll all be gay
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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