you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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