so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
