i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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