we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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