i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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