Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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