Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
