Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
