Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
