i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This is classic penis vs brain.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
