She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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