Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Two words: blizzard sex
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
