I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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