what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
soo... how was my night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
