Me. At least after what I've been through.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
