I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
did i walk over a car last night?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
