the new term for farting is butt boxing.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
