He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
