Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
