i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize