But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
