apparently the secret to your success is patron
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
