He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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