just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
