Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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