Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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