Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
