I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
