Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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