So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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