There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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