Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
