That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
