when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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