try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
