JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
