Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
tell me about the eggs
Randomize