If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
