You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
