In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
