You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
