Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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