Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
