Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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