they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Randomize
