first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
