The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
