Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
