i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
