if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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