Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
